Piers Morgan is in quite a dilemma! He needs to escape from his immortal prison.

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1. Resisting your moves, the leader starts to monologue. "I hung you from the top of the Sail so that you'd die and I'd inherit your crazy fortune!"

  • Poo yourself 16 times (and once more for good luck)
  • Gasp in horror.
  • Tell them you're actually a demolitions expert.
  • Tell them you paid all of your money to the roof guards in order to escape.
  • Tell them you're not Piers Morgan.
  • Throw a C4 into the Illuminati king's mouth.
  • Use the foarse.
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Other questions in this quiz

2. The lift arrives at the lobby. You're almost free! However, as soon as the glass doors reveal the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, the Illuminati guards step in the way! You'll need to fight to escape. What do you do?

  • Squeeze their pressure points.
  • Staring contest.
  • Knee them in the balls (triangles)
  • Punch them in the face.
  • Tempt them with dank memes.
  • Boot them in the chest.
  • Thwak them around the back of the neck.

3. You wake up handcuffed to a golf club, hanging off the side of the Dubai Sail. What do you do?

  • Pay them 22798959.69 Russian Rubles.
  • Call your private jet to pick you up, since you're absolutely loaded, and drop you off on the roof. To avoid further conflict, you pay your captors a wealthy cash bribe.
  • Pay them.
  • Tempt your captors with a cash bribe.
  • Tip your captors for a good trap.
  • Pay your captors to release you, since you're absolutely loaded.
  • Write them a cheque for £200,000 dubai dollars.

4. For some reason, your plan pleases the memes. They back off, allowing you to take the lift. In the lift, however, is Pink Guy! You try to escape but he pushes the close doors button, leaving you trapped with him! What do you do?

  • Make love with Pink Guy.
  • Make memes with Pink Guy.
  • Become Chinese with Ping Guy.
  • Make ramen with Pink Guy.
  • Make sushi with Pink Guy.
  • Make anime with Pink Guy.
  • Make rice balls with Pink Guy.

5. In response to your unruly move, the Illuminatis explode. What now?

  • Drink raw fish.
  • Drink vodka.
  • Drink memes.
  • Submit to your Stockholm Syndrome and return to the top of the Sail, hanging yourself from the golf club once again.
  • Escape.
  • Kill yourself.
  • Drink yourself.






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