sheila

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sheila

  • It feels like everyone who ever made the mistake of touching eva smith was there this night.
  • When i heard about eva and my part in the role, i thought i killed eva smith but then i realised we all did!
  • We all played a part in this.
  • Like it was a game. Not realising that this game we were all playing is reality. Eva’s reality.
  • The choices we made ruined her. Gave over.

 

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sheila

  • Now I'm not sure what happened.
  • Our family has a gift for self preservation.
  • But theres a point when you go from survivor to predator and i guess thats what happened to us.
  • Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch.
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sheila

  • We cant just ignore what happened after we realised the inspector was just a hoax.
  • That doesn't change things.
  • the inspector was fake but our actions weren't. Eva wasn't. Even knowing that the inspector is fake still makes me bottled up with guilt.
  • Unlike my father who is practically celebrating the death of this girl
  • i know what i did was wrong. Nothing is going to change that. 
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sheila

  • Yes, i know i was wrong to misuse my power against someone of the lower-class.
  • But I was overthrown with envy and took advantage of her vulnerable state.
  • i wasn't thinking straight.
  • i felt like the only way of overcoming my sadness was by putting her in misery.
  • Although it made me feel better at the time it was stupid and i hate myself for it.
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sheila

  • After being confronted by the inspector i came to realisation. i realised that what i did... i mean what we did was completely irrational and disgusting.
  • Earlier on before i faced the inspector
  • i never once considered the lives of those of the lower class.
  • i never once tried to understand the struggles that people go through. i was blind.
  • Leading up to leaving, the inspector gave us a speech worth remembering. It left us ALL speechless.
  • He warned us, stating that if we didn't change our ways everything would end in "blood fire and anguish:
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sheila

  • After being confronted by the inspector i came to realisation. i realised that what i did... i mean what we did was completely irrational and disgusting.
  • Earlier on before i faced the inspector i never once considered the lives of those of the lower class.
  • i never once tried to understand the struggles that people go through. i was blind.
  • Leading up to leaving, the inspector gave us a speech worth remembering. It left us ALL speechless. He warned us, stating that if we didn't change our ways everything would end in "blood fire and anguish:
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sheila

I wanted eva fired because when i went to millwards to get a dress.

i found one i really liked yet when eva tried it on she looked a lot better.

my self esteem dropped and jealousy took over me.

i didn't know what to do, i was just angry.

i went to the manager and demanded for have her fired.

after that i didn't really think much of it until now.

now I've realised that by getting her fired i just fed the fire my father created. and now because of all of us adding to the fire, she's gone. 

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sheila

  • Unlike me and Eric
  • our parents have had a difficult time accepting and acknowledging the fact that we all were part of this disaster
  • i feel like this is because of the differences between our generation
  • and that we have different understandings and responsibilities.
  • Our parents only care about their reputation and not about whats right.
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sheila

  • Admitting to the inspector about what i have done
  • made me feel like the weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
  • i felt disgusting for what I had done
  • and the fact that i added to the death of this girl
  • still makes me sick to my stomach.
  • I'm truly sorry for my actions
  • but sometimes sorry isn't enough.
  • like now.
  • sorry really isn't enough.
  • It wont bring her back. We killed her. 
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