This is a good revision source for people needing help on their first essay on how they work and what is needed. This is my first first essay I ever done, the highlighted green are the parts that where marked as really good, and red are things that were commented on as need more improvement. Over all I got 20/25 and the comments where as follows:
"wow - a very passionate conclusion"
"Georgia - I am very impressed with this essay for a number of reasons
1) your excellent research to back up your agreement
2) you have produced a very thoughtful interpretation of the question"
Even better if ....
put more work into my introduction and conclusion
“The Terms of the Treaty of Versailles were actually reasonable”. Explain why you agree or disagree with this view.
I am going to be evaluating the opinions on terms of the Treaty of Versailles and coming to a conclusion as to if I think the Treaty of Versailles was fair or not. I will talk about how it was formed in Hall of Mirrors of the Palace of Versailles and how it was possibly unfair to begin with as it was a Dikat. I shall even look at how Germany has acted in the past to its enemies and if the unfair treatment of Russia, led to them being seen as new victims of justice. I intend to look at what the Germans, British, and Americans thought of this in June 1919 and how their opinions differed. Most importantly I will look at the actual terms of the Treaty and if they can be argued to be reasonable and justified or massively unfair and only put in place by Wilson, Lloyd George, Clemenceau to cripple Germany and watch them suffer.
First of all, I believe a reason that the terms of the Treaty of Versailles were actually reasonable is that Germany was involved in planning and carrying out a far worse treaty to Russia, The Treaty of Brest Litovsk which was forced upon Bolshevik by the German forces (just like the Treaty of Versailles was forced on Germany by the three Allies). The treaty stated that six billion German gold mark was to be paid as reparations, it ceded Baltic States to Germany. Also the Germans took away 34% of Russia's population and 50% of its industry. It was argued to be one of the harshest treaties because it put Russia under a political crisis and they could not achieve stability, leading them into uprising of communism. Germany were negligent to Russia’s needs and prioritised their own country, so it could be argued this is like Clemenceau wanted to put first France’s problems it faced after WWI, such as damage to land. France had been severely damaged they deserved compensation and because Germany lost the war and deserved punishment they were the ones that should help to build France back…