Passage 1 - Touching the void

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  • Created by: Smartieee
  • Created on: 17-12-12 12:17

Joe’s account - The paragraphing marks the development of his situation and thoughts, the first paragraph, for example explains his external pain, and the second, his internal pain.

Paragraph 1:

The first few sentences all begin with ‘I’. This use of first person creates a more vivid and direct account of what happened. There is a lot of alliteration in the first paragraph, ‘slope, struck, shattering, splitting, screamed, sudden, speed, stop’ = sibilance. Very graphic, creates a real atmosphere, and the reader can really imagine the pain he is going through (emphasised by the repetition of ‘Screamed’.) There is a succession of clauses, commas and details which shows the speed of what is happening.

The 2nd paragraph

The metaphors contradict each other, first is a ‘flooding’ then a ‘burning fire’. It is also the past tense being recalled, the passage is being motivated by his awareness of his reader – need to create an enthralling piece.

Words can’t do justice to the amount of pain he is in

3rd paragraph

Returns back to first person and refers to a previous metaphor of ‘burning’. The language becomes more abstract, suggests trauma. Builds up through repetitions + alliterations from “something” to “panic” the direct speech (showing his thoughts) and his recollection of what other…

Comments

Brittany - Team GR

This is brilliant! Thank you :) 

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