R.E relationships and families (Islam & Christianity)

Heterosexual: to be sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex

Homosexual : to be sexually attracted to members of the same sex

1885 - Sexual acts between homosexuals are made illegal

1967 - Homosexual acts were declared legal for people over 21, except in armed forces

1994 - Age of consent for homosexual acts is reduced to 18

2000 - Homosexuals are allowed to serve in the armed forces

2001 - Age of consent for homosexual acts is reduced to 16

2004 - Civil partnerships are recognised in law

2013 - Same sex marriage is recognised in law

Contemporary British attitudes: - homosexual relationships are now legal  - couples can now marry or convert partnerships into marriage if they wish

Christianity - heterosexual relationship; Part of God's plan, man and woman should be united together and increase in number

"Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis) - A heterosexual relationship allows this without the interference of technology

Catholic Christianity:  being a homosexual is a not a sin, homosexual activity is a sin, they should remain chaste (not have sex) to avoid sinful acts

Church of England: welcome homosexuals who live in a faithful & committed relationship, doesn't allow them to marry in church, accept homosexual relationships because Chrisitians should love and accept everyone   "Love thy neighbour"  "You put me together in my mother's womb"

Arguments for: The Church of England encourages homosexual people who cannot celibate lives to be welcomed into the church - 'love thy neighbour' - this means be kind to everybody, therefore including people of all types of sexual orientation

• Some Christians believe that homosexuality is part of a gift of creative variety that God has given humanity - 'you put me together in my mother's womb'
• Some Christians believe that it is the quality of the relationship that matters. They argue that loving, faithful and committed homosexual relationships are just as holy as heterosexual ones

Arguments against: Some Christians believe that homosexuality is a sin - against God's plan for humanity - forbidden in the Bible - 'do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, that is detestable' (Leviticus 18:22)

• Heterosexual relationships are the way that God has intended new life to be brought into the world - 'have many children' - homosexual relationships cannot produce children
• Can be seen to go against God's natural plan. In Genesis, it says 'man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." - man and woman were created for eachother, they are different but complement each other and so make for a good relationship
• The Catholic Church teaches that homosexual people should be celibate

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination" (Leviticus 18:22)

"Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31)

"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them" (Leviticus 20:13)

"But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman has her own husband" (1 Corinthians 7:2)

"But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'  So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man seperate." (Mark 10:6-9)

"Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable (Leviticus 18:22)

Islam takes a very strong position regarding homosexuality:

• It it seen as a grave sin
• Under Shari'ah law it's punishable by death
• Most Muslims believe homosexuality is wrong
• Pairing of male and female is part of the natural order - procreation
• Homosexuality is a threat to the stability of Islamic society. This is because Islamic society is based around the family.

"And as for the two of you men who are guilty of lewdness, punish them both." (Qur'an 4:16)

"It is He who created you from a single soul, And made its mate of like nature in order that you might dwell with her in love."

"Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them".

"If two men are guilty of lewdness punish them both. If they repent and amend, leave them alone for Allah is... Most Merciful". (Qur'an)

fornication: sex before marriage

adultery: sex outside marriage/ having an affair/ voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone who is not their spouse

sex before marriage: sex between two single unmarried people

sex outside marriage: sex between two people where one of them is married to someone else

Christian attitude to sex:

• Many Christians believe sex expresses a deep, loving lifelong union that first requires the commitment to marriage.
• Having sex is part of the loving, trusting relationship that should be developed within marriage - it should never be a casual, temporary pleasure.

"Free from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God. You are not your own" (1 Corinthians 6: 18 -19)

• Many non- religious people agree with Christians that sex outside marriage is wrong because it involves secrecy, lies and betrayal of trust
• Adultery breaks the promises Christian couple make before God during their wedding
• Threatens the stable relationship needed between parents for their children's security

"You shall not commit adultery" (Ten Commandments)

"You have heard that it was said 'You shall not commit adultery'. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:27 -28)

"Every sexual act must be within the framework of marriage" (Casti Connubi - previous pope)

Liberal Christian attitude:Sex before marriage is a valid expression of their love for eachother

Islamic perspective:  Sex within marriage is seen to be crucial to happiness and fulfilment

• Purpose of sex inside marriage is seen to be for creating childre, but also encourages passion and tenderness between a couple

"Tell the believing men (and women) to reduce of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them." (Qur'an 24:30)

"Do not commit adultery. It is shameful and an evil way to act." (Qur'an 17:32)

"The (unmarried) woman or (unmarried) man found guilty of sexual intercourse - lash each one of them with a hundred lashes." (Qur'an 24:2)

• Most Christians believe that only married couples should have sex, and only with eachother. Chastity is a virtue. Every act must be within the framework of marriage. The Catholic Church teaches that only married couples should have sex, and the most important reason for sex is to have children. There should be a chance of pregnancy within every act of sex.

Any sex other than between husband and wife is wrong. Sex before marriage is called fornication, and is a sin. For some Christians, homosexual sex is thought to be unnatural, and so it is also a sin. In places, the Bible also says that it is wrong for a man to sleep with another man.

Some other Christians accept sex before marriage in a relationship which is leading to marriage. They also stress the need for responsible parenthood; only having as many children as you can look after.

The Bible says, 'do not commit adultery.' Jesus says that even to look at someone lustful is wrong, so affairs are also wrong and a sin. Having an affair means you break all the promises you made before God when marrying.

Islam does not agree with choosing never to marry or with monastic lifestyles. It is a religious duty to marry and have children. If only those who are married have sex, then it is thought that society is protected, because all the issues linked to sex outside marriage are gone.The message is very clear in Islam; only married couples may have sex and then only with eachother. Prophet Muhammad spoke of sex as being special within marriage. He said it was a source of pleasure and provided the blessing of children from God, if the couple so wished.

The Qur'an sets out specific punishments for those who have sex before marriage or commit adultery, or have homosexual relationships. It calls these people fornicators and punishment is severe (e.g. flogging). This is still part of Shari'ah law, and a punishment used in some Muslim countries. In several places, the Qur'an specifically mentions adultery always saying it is wrong 'Do not commit adultery. It is shameful and an evil way to act' (Surah 17:32)

Marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman as partners in a relationship.

Why do people get married? - to express their love for someone  -to show commitment  -for security/to stabilise the relationship  -complete your faith  -to have a sexual relationship   -to have children        Purpose of a Christian marriage:

Purpose - to have children

Union - to be united as one

Rearing children - to raise children in a Christian home

Pattern for society - society is more stable when people are in a committed relationship

One flesh - physically united through sex

Sacred - the relationship has been blessed by god

Endless - the relationship will last until death

Ideal marriage: couple of one man and one woman for life was created at the beginning.

Feature of the ceremony   vows: promise

prayer: God is watching and blessing the marriage

rings: eternity

white dress: purity

Cohabitation: a couple living together and having a sexual relationship without being married

Why might a couple decide to cohabit?

• test their relationship first - then decide to get married
• don't think that getting married makes a difference (just a piece of paper)
• 'cheaper' alternative than a wedding
• 'cheaper' to break up than to go through divorce
• marriage is seen as an outdated idea

Marriage is important to Christians because...

• Marriage is a gift from God
• Normal for a man and a woman to leave their parents and come together as one in loving companionship
• To bring new life into the world and raise children in a loving family

"God blessed them and said 'be fruitful and multiply'.

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh".

"The Church sees marriage between a man and a woman as central to the stability and health of human society".  (Church of England)

Welcome: The priest welcomes everyone and reads a statement about what Christians believe about marriage.

Declarations: The couple make promises in front of God that they will love, comfort and protect each other as long as they both shall live.

Vows: The couple make their vows to each other to remain with each other 'for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.'

Exchange of rings: The couple give eachother a ring and promise to honour one another and share their lives within the love of God. The ring is a symbol of the couples' never-ending love and God's eternal nature.

Proclamation: This is the moment at which a couple are married. The priest tells the couple and everyone in the church that they are now husband and wife.

Prayers: are said for the couple by the priest or by friend, these will include a blessing

Readings: There will usually be readings from the Bible about marriage

Sermon: The Priest delivers a short talk about the importance of marriage

Signing of the register: The bride and groom sign the register with two witnesses. This is a legal requirement and the couple receive a marriage certificate.

• Christians who are opposed to sex before marriage believe cohabitation is sinful
• Orthodox church is opposed to any recognition of a sexual relationship outside a Christian marriage
• Many Anglican and Protestant Christians accept that although marriage is best, people may live together in a faithful and loving way without being married

Divorce: legal ending of a marriage

Remarriage: when someone marries again

• Divorce is allowed after one year of marriage
• A legally recognised civil divorce must be obtained by a court
• Remarriage is allowed as many times as people wish, to a different partner or to their original partner

Ways Christian Churches help couples in trouble: 

• marriage counselling
• pre-marital counselling - prepares couple for marriage
• emphasises the meaning of marriage and their wedding vows
• organisations such as Relate and Accord - counselling advice

Balance between ethical arguments:

• Sanctity (sacred) of marriage vows - vows made before God are sacred and should never be broken
• Compassion for those who are going through a breakdown - there may be circumstances when it might be more compassionate and loving to divorce

Annulment: Catholic Church ruling that a marriage was never valid (never technically existed)       - can be done anytime after the wedding whereas a divorce is after a year

"Anyone who divorces his wife and married another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband, and marries another man. She commits adultery." (bible)

Catholic Church: marriage is a sacrament - created by God, permanent, exclusive and lifelong

• couple make vows before God that can never be broken
• Catholics can obtain an annulment under certain circumstances
• Catholics whose marriage has been annulled are free to marry in Church

Protestant Church: accept civil divorce as end to marriage, allow remarriage in church

• Church should reflect the forgiveness of God 
• allow people who have made mistakes to find happiness in a second marriage
• as long as they take the vows seriously

Other Christians: divorce is the lesser of two evils

• divorced Anglican can marry someone else in the church with the bishop's permission
• as long as the priest is willing to perform the marriage ceremony
• Priests who are uncomfortable may offer blessing after a civil ceremony