Marriage and the Family

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Muslim Attitude to Sex Outside of Marriage.


“…an evil opening road to other evils”

- E.g. Lying to each other, causes division in families, less loving household for children, leads to STDs and breaks vows of faithfulness-

Adultery is a serious sin

Pre-Marital Sex;- Unmarried people must not engage in sex or pre-marital intimacy-

“And say to the believing women that they should…draw their veils over their bosoms, and not display their beauty except to their husbands…”-

“Say to believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do”

- It devalues sex between to two people who are committed (married)

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Why would Annulment be permitted?

  • If either member of the couple didn't understand what they were doing.
  • They were forced into marriage.
  • If the marriage was not consumated.
  • If one of the partners is not baptised.
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Muslim Attitude to Divorce

Marriage in Islam is a religious contract between a man and woman who both consent: unlike Christianity it is not a sacred contract so is permitted.  But it is disliked as it is better for the couple and family to try their best to make the relationship work. It's said to be among the things most dislike by Allah. However if the relationship is damaging then divorce is better.  For any reason they want to be divorced, the husband/wife must announce his intention to divorce three times over the course of three months (the iddah). During this time the couple must refrain from sexual intercourse to avoid pregnancy. During the 'iddah' the couple and their family have a chance to seek reconciliation. After this period the couple are free to remarry. The husband is still financially responsible for his ex-wife and their children unless she remarries. Divorce is also automatically permitted if;  One partner leaves Islam, The husband is absent without contact for a long time, Long Imprisonment, Husband refuses to provide for the wife and family, Inability to carry out sexual intercourse.

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Christian Belief in Family Life - Duties of Parent

All Christians believe that children should be brought up in a family with a mother and father.They see the family as the basis for society, and children and a gift from God.•

Christian people have a duty towards their children;                                                              

  • Provide them with food, clothes etc.                                                                                        
  • To love their children and each other                                                                                      
  • Teach them how to lead a Christian life and about Christianity                                                
  • Encourage them to go to Sunday school, church, be confirmed/baptized
  • Children should;                                                                                                                        
  • Obey and respect their parents                                                                                                  
  • Look after their parents when they are unable to do it themselves
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How does the Church help with family life?

  • Infant baptism – where parents dedicated their child to God and promises to bring them up in a loving Christian home                                                                                                •
  • Sunday schools and confirmation/baptism classes are run to help parents with the Christian teaching & teaching them about right and wrong and keeping them in the family •
  • Regular family services, children's liturgies to give more Christian education and allow parents to be at Sunday worship without distraction                                                            
  • Christian social life provided by youth clubs/cubs/brownies/brigades                              
  •  Ministers/Vicars/Priests act as marriage councilors                                                          
  •  Church charities can help with family life                                                                          
  •  Church schools where the national curriculum is taught in a Christian environment

“Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right…Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.                                                       “Honor thy father and mother” 

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Muslim Attitude to Family Life

  • The mother is at the heart of the Muslim family, she is the university to her children, including teaching them halal (right) and haram (wrong).
  • A Muslim man must look for a good mother for his children and vice versa. Children should love their mother 3 times more than their father.
  • The family is at the heart of the community. (very important)
  • Islam teaches that it is half of a Muslim‟s duty to marry and raise good Muslim children. The children should be taken to Madrasah to learn the Quran in Arabic. It‟s the father‟s duty to take the boys to the mosque.
  • There should be plenty of religious opportunities for religious activities at home as well as in the mosque (e.g. reading the Quran, praying, fasting, doing good things)
  • Children should attend Muslim functions, either with their families or the the mosque to build agood community spirit.
  • Family values are based on the Quran and hadith (sayings/actions of the Prophet Muhammad).
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Muslim Attitude to Family Life 2

  • The Mosque:
  • Can provide financial aid from Zakat fund in times of need
  • Imam can offer advice on matters of marriage and family life
  • The Extended Family:
  • The traditional family is an extended one: in not only includes parents and children, but also grandparents and elderly relatives.
  • Muslims believe that extended families mean greater stability, continuity, love and support for one another.
  • The elderly are treated with dignity, and Muslims consider it an honor and blessing from Allah to be able to look after elderly relatives. After all it was the elderly that looked after them when they were young. For Muslims looking after the elderly members of the family is a sacred action, which should be done with kindness, patience and respect.
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Reasons for Preventing Pregnancy

  • Want to plan when to have a family
  • May be too old or too young
  • Becoming pregnant could harm the health of the mother
  • A child would not fit in with their current lifestyle
  • In the case of a single man, he would not want to be responsible for a woman‟s pregnancy
  • They do not believe they would be good parents
  • One or both of the partners have a genetically inherited condition they don‟t want to pass on to a child
  • There are two forms of contraception:
  • True Contraception – a barrier method that actually stops the egg from being fertilized. E.g. condom, the pill
  • Abortive Contraception – a method that kills the egg after it has been fertilized. E.g.morning after pill, coil.
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