This is for Question 5 Description on Paper1 - Can you please tell me what you think?

The funfair – a celestial treasure chest of light, glowed magically in the distance. The luminous lights allured; inviting you in. The colours painted a great rainbow amongst the heavy rainfall that fell from the dingy sky. The lights from the rides were viciously glowing, winking like a lighthouse, against the cracks of thin fog. The lights were the festival of lanterns- so pleasant to the eye.

Huge, iron entrance gates welcomed a bustling crowd of eager roller coaster riders that were gathered for hours before.

Various rides came to life in the blink of an eye and caused a cacophony of piercing screams and laughter. The wind, like a wild beast being released from its cage, muted the sounds of enjoyment and fear coming from the children who grasped the thick, sturdy safety bar of the Big Wheel; which separated them from the muddy grass churned by monster cars many feet below.

The aroma of sizzling sausages wafted and laid thick in the air; this could be traced back to the hot dog stall that was situated across the glorious Big Wheel. Here, groups of teenagers and parents huddled with their young to escape from the chilly air- some indulged into the temptatious bites of the hotdogs.

((It's not finished but how shall i carry on?))