AQA GCSE B1 Meiosis and Mitosis

I'm not sure if anyone will find these helpful or if they're too silly or something. It helped me anyway, so I hope you enjoy!

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Dear Mr. Mitosis,
Kindly attend to your conjugal duties, sir. My sister has not been brought up to
expect the unkind neglect you have shown her. Halt your selfish, vain propagation, my sister wishes
to contribute something towards the next generation and if you feel she is unworthy of doing so,
annul the marriage and find a Daffodil.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Meiosis
Dear Mr. Meiosis,
I fail to see that ensuring the survival of my gene pool is vain and selfish; my wife is
of course welcome to clone herself at any time. I was hurt and offended by your insinuation that I find
my wife lacking in any way and that I have not performed my duties- I have provided my wife with
thousands of children, all equally wonderful, many more than you have provided for your wife with
your inferior gametes.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Mitosis
Dear Mr. Mitosis,
As my sister also produces `inferior' gametes, sir, I would advise that you not
criticize. My sister is incapable of cloning herself, as you well no, and furthermore would have no wish
to do so. Your children have no variation whatsoever, they are all absolutely identical to each other
and you, and one disease would be enough to wipe the lot of you out. My sister also wishes for
daughters, something that you are incapable of producing asexually.
In case you were in ignorance, in my family we produce gametes with twenty-three
chromosomes, They are then joined to another gamete with twenty-three and make a fully formed
cell. This allows difference in gender etc as sex chromosomes may be XY (male) or XX (female), or in
the gametes, either X or Y. These can then join together deciding sex. Unfortunately, as you persist in
creating cells with forty-six chromosomes, my sister's gametes are ineffective.
You are obviously incapable of evolving, but might I suggest changing with the
times?
Yours Sincerely
Mr. Meiosis

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Dear Mr. Meiosis,
I fail to see how I am old-fashioned, why several scientists have taken to cloning to
prevent extinction and to provide extra body parts. I also am familiar with the base and barbarian
custom of sexual reproduction to which you refer and would wish to point out that with such an
unpredictable method the state of your children is no surprise. I am quite sure my wife would prefer
to remain childless than give birth to an overgrown frog.…read more

Page 3

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Dear Mr. Mitosis,
You may not make that disgusting suggestion, sir. I am deeply offended. Soon you
will be suggesting that I genetically engineer them! I assure you, that if I do decide to make a
designer baby, I will certainly not use your plasmids to do so!
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Meiosis
Dear Mr. Meiosis,
Are you comparing me to a Bacteria cell? Am outraged and will return all Christmas
presents immediately.…read more

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